Biden Forgives $39 Billion of Student Debt

Despite the recent US Supreme Court ruling that he lacks the authority to unilaterally forgive these debts, President Biden has gone ahead and authorized the Department of Education to forgive the remaining debts of 800,000 borrowers who have been making payments for the past 20 years.

Secretary of Education Miguel Cardona boasted that "the genius of this approach is that it totally bypasses the congressional appropriations roadblock. We simply stop collecting payments from this select category of debtors on the grounds that they have already suffered enough."

Sen. Eric Schmitt (R-Mo) called the move "an unlawful plan that will require working American taxpayers, most of whom never went to college, to foot the bill for persons who freely chose to borrow money to fund their education. Bypassing Congress and ignoring the Supreme Court is an abuse of power."

Cardona countered Schmitt's argument by pointing out "in many cases the college debt was incurred for worthless degrees in gender studies, critical race theory, or other such unmarketable skills. These students were duped by the universities offering these degrees. In effect, they purchased an inherently defective product. They deserve relief from their debt and should also consider a class action suit against the schools that scammed them."

SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE by John Semmens