Biden Touts “Transformed Economy”
With poll results showing widespread disapproval of his economic policies, President Biden went on the campaign trail to urge voters to “not lose faith in the decision you made to elect me in 2020. The enemies of our democracy are trying to use current inflation, fuel shortages, and recession to persuade you to jump ship. I assure you, the pain is only temporary. The transformation we are wreaking on our economy will totally change the way we live.”
“The key flaw in the Republicans’ arguments against Democrat policies is that they are wed to old ways of thinking,” the President said. “In the old way of thinking people are expected to work to support themselves and their families. This overlooks the advancement of new monetary theory that challenges the idea that everyone must work in order to consume. Republicans try to conceal that the government has the authority to create as much money as we need. So what if prices go up. The government will send you a check so you can afford to buy what you need. With the advances in digital currency this check will be automatically deposited in your account. You will always have money to spend.”
“This is just phase one of the transformation we are working on,” Biden continued. “Have you ever looked around and seen that too many people have more than they need? This keeps wealth from being more equitably distributed. Phase two will see to it that the excess wealth in the hands of the enemies of democracy are redistributed to loyal subjects just like they were before capitalism disrupted social harmony and sent everyone on a quest to feed their greed.”
“Phase three was eloquently summed up by the great Klaus Schwab, Founder and Executive Chairman of the World Economic Forum, when he said ‘you will own nothing and be happy,’” Biden recalled. “It will be like the happiness you enjoyed as a child when your parents took care of you, except this time it will be me. Not me alone, but with the help of all the dedicated people who work for me. We will provide for all your needs and ease all your worries. All you’ll have to do is obey a few simple rules and take on some chores we ask you to do. This is the future you can vote for this year by electing Democrats in every state and every district around the country. We will subdue the MAGA terrorists and bring the unity that we all crave for America.”
