China Threatens Nuclear Attack

Calling the strategic alliance of the US, India, Japan and Australia aimed at deterring a Chinese attack on Taiwan “an aggressive encirclement,” Beijing's former ambassador to the UN, Sha Zukang says his country “must consider the option of a first-strike nuclear response.”

Sha went on to characterize “the US's passive measures to undermine the effectiveness of China’s strategic forces in their righteous effort to reunite this breakaway province with the mother country” as "a criminal conspiracy to deny our sovereignty over our whole country. The US cannot rely on us to forbear the use of whatever force is needed to defend our sovereignty.”

Sha called the US policy pledging “to defend democracy, freedom of navigation, and security" a “provocation. The presence of hostile military forces in the region is a threat we cannot ignore. Since the United States possesses nearly twenty times the number of nuclear warheads China has, striking first is our best chance of leveling the playing field.”

President Biden is said to have called upon his son Hunter “to call on his contacts in China and work his magic in building bridges and crafting deals that unify divergent interests into one joint and prosperous venture. I know my boy can come up with a solution that will put money in all our pockets.”

In related news, the Biden Administration rebuffed advice from Lithuania’s defense ministry that consumers not buy the “Flagship” smartphone manufactured by China's Xiaomi Corp “because the phones have a built-in ability to detect and censor content. Nominally, this feature can be turned off by the phone user, but it can be turned back on remotely at any time by the manufacturer.” Press Secretary Jen Psaki explained that “the President has been using a Flagship phone that Hunter gave him last year and hasn't had any problems with it.”