Trump Indicted for Mishandling Classified Documents

Though the mishandling of classified documents is a widespread behavior among high-ranking political figures, former President Donald Trump is the first to be prosecuted for this behavior. Several others known to have mishandled classified documents have offered explanations for the disparate treatment.

Former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton illegally forwarded many classified documents to her personal off-site email server. When this became public knowledge she attempted to erase her emails and ordered that other devices that might have incriminating documents on them be smashed with hammers. James Comey, the FBI Director at that time, declined to prosecute her. Clinton now brags that "he knew that there was no way that a jury in DC from which the classified documents were sent or New York where the classified documents were illegally kept would convict me, so why waste time and money trying." She is using the publicity generated by the latest indictment of Trump in Florida for classified documents stored at his Mar-a-Lago residence to boost sales of her gear celebrating her 2016 non-prosecution.

President Biden had several stashes of classified documents lying around in insecure locations--including in the garage where he parks his Corvette. He has yet to be questioned about this by anyone from the Department of Justice (DOJ). He says "the reason is the guys at DOJ know that I'm honest. The American people know that I'm honest. In contrast, Trump is the only American president to be impeached twice. He is also a clear threat to our democracy. If there's a way we can get him behind bars we ought to take it."

Meanwhile, former Gov. Asa Hutchinson (R-Ark) again called for Trump to drop out of the race, saying "this is the second indictment against him this year. The first was in New York City where a heavily Democrat jury pool is likely to result in a conviction. The second is by the DOJ. Ninety percent of DOJ indictments result in a plea agreement. Of those that go to trial 90% are convicted. I hear that he may also be indicted in Georgia for election interference and in DC for espionage. He also was ordered by a court to pay $5 million to a woman for denying he raped her. Let's face it, the system is out to get him. The patriotic thing for him to do is step aside and give the rest of us in the Party a chance to win the nomination."

SEMI-NEWS/SEMI-SATIRE by John Semmens